Where are you called on your journey?

I journeyed this weekend on a brief but deep women’s weekend retreat in the remote pine wood hills of eastern WA.    It was a worthy adventure.  

Where are you called to journey?  Cultivating leadership involves continuous cultivation of personal learning.   As leaders, many of us only lead well to the edge of our own comfort zone, so continuously stretching that zone increases the range of territory in which we can truly lead.

Over the weekend, we were immersed in creativity, myth, and metaphor, and far removed from computer connections.  Coyotes sang at night, wild turkeys grumbled to each other during the day, and the rain fell.

I was most grateful for the opportunity to paint in the warmth and glow of a wood-heated studio, my process witnessed by gifted facilitators and dear friends.  I was able to face the large, open canvas and let my life speak.  What do I love? 

Not holding any image or expectation, I simply listened. Which size brush?  Which color? Which shape?  

Gradually, I found myself reliving the last year of my inner journey – in color and emotion, unfolding under my hand and before my eyes.  At one point, surrendering to longing, I abandoned the brush, dipping my fingers into reds and yellows and allowed life force to flow through.  Layers of paint revealed greater complexity and nuance, and an emerging, maturing sense of grace.

When I was done, there was more of me.  Finally, growing up.

The reading, below, weaves into this story.  Welcomed into the retreat space with these words, I knew immediately that I wanted to share them.  However, there is a twist.    

Embarking on a year of reclaiming and growing into my own fullness, vs. searching for fulfillment in relation with another, and having recently finished the above painting of my own fullness, I initially mis-read one line.  “May the one you long for long for you”  I entered, as I typed before bed, as  “may the one you long for be you.”  Few letters, big meaning.

Hmmm.  I fell asleep in front of the fire, contemplating the possibility that perhaps life is best in when both are true.

This morning, I woke in the rain and slipped my way back down the hill to the painting studio.  I painted another painting. Or, perhaps more accurately, another painting painted me.  This is its own story.  To suffice for now though, what amazed me most, was to see, side by side, these two paintings, each representing a different read of that one line, and how potent the combination. Each, unique, complete, settled,  and whole.  And both, together, somehow more than the sum of the parts.

Where are you called on your journey?  

What will help you emerge into your own wholeness?

Where do you need to listen?

Turn up your inner radar, and read on….. (and revisit.. I’ll figure out how to post those paintings…!)

For Longing

Blessed be the longing that brought you here

And quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease.

To discover the new direction your longing wants to take.

May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –

Be equal to the grandeur and call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide your thoughts and nurture your feelings.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

By John O’Donaghue

What are the seeds of your longing?

What is longing for you?