In a nutshell, this practice helps us embody our internal commitment to stay centered (or settled) regardless of negative actions or communications by others. This then allows us to lead, make the most of any given situation through our cohesive presence, instead of reacting to the other person’s behavior.

Why does it matter? Thich Nhat Hanh, an extraordinary Buddhist monk and teacher from Vietnam, described this dynamic: during the era of the Vietnamese ‘boat people’ who attempted risky high seas crossings in search of safe refuge, one calm person in a boat could make all the difference in a successful outcome for the whole boat.

Calm helps us think clearly. Calm is contagious, as are other moods; anger can be contagious as well. “Don’t get the goo on you” is a practice to help you be able to choose your internal mood and maintain access to calm, regardless of the moods, or ‘the goo,’ of others. This ability is fundamental to being able to lead, vs. react.

By keeping our internal cohesion and choice intact, we are able stay more present to the other person, even while avoiding ‘catching the goo’, which then puts us in position to lead the interaction or situation to a better outcome.

To prepare:

1) Identify a place of ongoing interpersonal challenge in your life, one in which your own response may not meet your own expectations. Imagine the person, and what this person might say or do in interacting with you that contributes to the challenge.

2) If indoors, stand in an open area, with several feet of room to maneuver, squarely facing one wall. Imagine the person that you have chosen is facing you from that wall. Feel your feet on the floor beneath you, allowing your stance to widen slightly. Feel the solidness of your base, your feet, your legs, and your pelvis, then breathe deeply as you let your top half relax and settle into this foundation of support.

3) Imagine the person is walking towards you, with whatever words or behavior usually triggers a reaction in you. Breathe. Feel your solid base beneath you. Then place your right foot behind your left, so that you turn and face the wall that was on your right.

4) Notice what part of your body is now facing the first wall: just your left side. You no longer have your whole front exposed towards that incoming energy; instead you can let it go by, and witness the other person and his or her behavior.

This is the point of freedom. Instead of drawing a bulls-eye and taking the hit, or fighting back in some way, we can shift to observing the other person, staying settled within, and then choosing the best possible response to the situation.

Why am I lifting off from my northern Rockies haven to do this? First, it’s really fun. This past year I’ve met clients that I’ve worked with for years, but only by phone. What a hoot to get to work in person!

Equally important though, shifting to more satisfying and effective patterns of thought and action, the ones we come to coaching to change, happens most quickly when we engage our whole self in learning. Without this, in the moment of need, the new behavior is just a concept, not a readily available skill.

Working in person, and engaging in movement practices together, we can more quickly and accurately get a read on where you are in your development, what your default settings are, and what you need going forward to get where you want to go.

Practicing the new behavior through movement in session together, (see “Don’t Get the Goo on You” for an example) you begin to ‘program’ the new possibility into your brain and your muscles.

Daily practices are then a significant tool for ‘programming’ our experience; in-person work gives us maximum insight and accuracy to help you design practices that can become the foundation for your desired future.

2010 included multiple trips to Boston, New York/New Jersey, and San Francisco. I expect to add Minneapolis/Chicago in 2011. DC and Atlanta/Birmingham are possible as well. Currently scheduled trips include: Boston on December 17-19, 2010 and again February 9-12, 2011. If you want to get on the schedule, let me know!

Top athletes know that the rest cycle in their training is as critical as their exertion cycle. Sometimes we forget that this applies to the rest of us too!

For those of us who are better at doing than resting, summer often has extra permission for slowing down. Don’t let the window pass!

Summer gives us great ways to do this with our whole being though.  Your summer choices may include some version already; an exhilarating hike, or bike, or paddle, even energetic yard work, followed by a feel-your-whole-body swim, and then chilling in stillness.  (OK, now you know what I like to do in summer!)

Where can you give yourself fully into physical activity, such that your mind can relax, and then let your body follow?

What else will make this summer deeply satisfying?

What is your version of the grey zone?

If you were to choose instead to do one thing that you truly love – something that would support you fully relaxing – what would it be?

Consider where you might be stuck. 

Where might a dose of curiosity open up a new path on an old challenge?

In which arena are you most hungry for progress?

What is the one thing you could do each day to maximize your momentum towards this goal?

Let yourself think broadly.  Sometimes a daily cultivation practice, such as reflection and planning time, exercise, or spending time in nature might be the missing piece!

Ironically, one reason we can end up in an endless juggling act is by not taking the time to choose our most important targets. Today, before picking any balls or arrows (emails or tasks) consider giving yourself 3 minutes to stop, step back, and really focus on your greatest priority for the day.

Where is the place to focus so that you can finish this day feeling satisfied?

Gratitude is an extraordinarily powerful daily practice. 

Try this: bring to mind one thing you are truly grateful for.  Breathe into this memory as it comes to mind in full detail.  Now notice the effect on your body.    Done well, gratitude can be a relaxation practice as well as a spiritual practice.    You can even use it in a pinch at work: when stress is rising, take thirty seconds and hit your internal reset button with one gratitude moment.

What are you most grateful for today?