New Dawn, New Day

Last night, just before early bed, I read a friends caring bridge journal entry: making great strides on a recent-onset debilitating illness, she wrote of seeing what life she can build with what she can still do.  I was humbled; clearly her eye is on opportunity, not just on limitation.  She is facing, and embracing, the challenge of remaking her life.

This morning, waking in early light, lime green covers strewn about, an inner call stirred, demanding that I get up.  Not sure what or why, I sensed it was a moment to say yes.

Finding vertical, I was greeted by a golden ripple of cloud filling the eastern sky, bouncing dream light up off the awakening lake.  Sun radiated through the glowing mass of clouds and connected with rain clouds downstream, setting off rainbows lifting from the lake.

Snuggling in my host’s fleece jacket, wrapping a beach towel over my bare legs, I grabbed my camera and headed for the dock.

Standing there, surrounded by light, I listened. What else did the knowing that pulled me awake have to say?   “Do not be afraid.”

Writing now, wind lifts fresh curls off the waves as dawn flows into day, and the lightest shower eases in, giving moisture to this breath of air, this message feels like:  Learn to write with abandon once again.  This whole glorious cacophony of light and wonder is at your back.  Set yourself free.

What else could one long for, than this aliveness, this beauty, this now?

Yes to listening.  Yes to honoring that voice within that leads with precision, pulling from slumber of all kinds.  Yes to remaking our lives in this changing world, facing, and embracing, whatever challenges emerge along the way.

“You are soooo good at the
many things you do.
So…. why aren’t you happy?”

News Flash: Next Groups start November 7th!

Come strengthen your InnerCompass!

Learn to thrive. Learn to live with Power and Grace.  Instead of  running on auto-pilot, in a continuous cycle of depletion, step back, reflect, and re-connect with your own rich, authentic core, and your deepest values. Even amidst a swirl of demands, with the right support, we can each find “the Me within the We.”  Coming together in InnerCompass circles, we:

• focus on what we do want – instead of what we don’t!
• access delicious optimism, radiant vitality, and a revitalized connection with the natural world.
• cultivate unshakable confidence in inner guidance.
• name our most important promises to ourselves, and keep them.
• cultivate our unique contribution to the larger world while savoring being fully alive!

Ready to Engage Your Power and Grace?

I’m inviting and accepting women who’ve found that inner spark that says…

• I want to (re) kindle the joy of being fully and vitally alive!
• I want to work with my body as ally, and reconnect with the natural world. 
•  I want to  focus on what matters most and grow a compelling vision for my life and career.
• I’m ready for tools and a structure to help me clarify goals and identify inspired actions, and I want support and accountability to help me succeed.

• I want to go on the journey together, with other women ready to do the same.

Together, we:

• learn to work with the full range of who we are, body, mind, spirit, and emotion, to optimize our experiences;
• connect with true sources of inspiration and renewal, including the natural world;
• learn to balance strong external demands with an equally strong internal foundation,
• and actively shape our lives towards our dreams.

We ‘circle up’ by phone an hour each week for learning, laughter, practice, support, and accountability. With specific action steps to take between calls, we each can get on course and stay on course with what matters most.

This course fills so if you’re interested, please email me right away and we’ll set up a phone conversation to help determine if this is the right fit for you.

What’s so special about group coaching?

• Group coaching is actually a blend of teaching, skill building, access to new tools, and coaching. Each session builds on the last. Combined with group support & accountability, it is a potent combination for making powerful and lasting changes.
• Return on investment. This group offer is ¼ the cost of an equivalent amount of one on one work. Yet, group coaching can actually lead to greater breakthroughs!
• By meeting weekly, we keep momentum alive. Each month we’ll have 2 sessions of teaching and tools, 1 session of open coaching (you bring your agenda), and 1 session of structured coaching with coaching questions for each participant.
• Email connection with other group members and your coach between sessions, to celebrate successes, ask for ideas and share our learning.
• Peer support through mini-mastermind groups. You choose the level of engagement. (Many participants grow long-lasting, high-nutrition partnerships this way. I still meet frequently with a mastermind buddy from a group-coaching program I completed 2 years ago!)
• Fully engaged participants finish with real successes under their belts, a road map for success going forward, and extraordinary abilities to self-coach into the future.

Who’s better served one-on-one?

• If time and schedule flexibility are more valuable to you than dollars
• If you prefer the continuous laser focus on your agenda provided by one on one over the camaraderie of group support
• If you appreciate the simplicity of the one on one connection with your coach

 Reach out to me now, and we’ll see if this is the right structure for you. 

The fine print:

• The Fall 2011 InnerCompass circles will meet by phone or web for one hour each week.   Each group is limited to 8 participants. Start date November 7th.
• You get the follow up workbook materials via email after most sessions.
• If you miss a session, calls will be recorded and available within 24 hours.
• Tuition for this 24-session program is $1170… not a bad price for being able to positively and fundamentally shift the course of your life!
• Early bird, pay in full, and bring a friend discounts are each worth $100, making the course even more in reach at $870.

• Early Bird: Commit with your $100 deposit by October 1st and save $100

• Pay in Full: By October 15th, save another $100

• Bring a Friend: this is a fabulous way to strengthen your support both during and after the course. You each save $100!

Edit:  This work on SQ can be freely shared.  I release this post to the public domain.  For the spirit in which I do this, see Leo Babuta’s post, http://zenhabits.net/open-source-blogging-feel-free-to-steal-my-content/ May you improve on it, and share it with the world.

My daughters’ gymnastics studio has a trivia question of the week posted on a big white board.  This week, the girls debated: where are the largest pyramids in the world?  Egypt?  Mexico? Peru?  While they decide which column to mark their answer in, I ask myself a different question: why this human fascination with pyramids, with this triangle shape that crosses cultures and millennium?

In my own work this year, through spring, summer, and early fall, I played with and presented to training groups a number of triangle models, likely my own fascination with the strength of the triangular shape, and the importance of strong foundations.  See what these open up for you:

Here is the first:

IQ

EQ EQ

SQ SQ SQ

Now, take this simple triangle, and imagine it as a pyramid, the strength of all 4 sides supporting each one.

A simple translation of human experience:

IQ, or intelligence quotient, is a small portion of our human experience, yet, like the small portion of an iceberg that rides above the waterline, it often garnishes the most attention.

EQ is the emotional intelligence quotient from the work popularized by Daniel Goleman.  We now know that emotional states have a significant influence on our access to our IQ; when stress triggers a reaction in the reptilian portion of our brains, our access to our highest levels of thought is diminished.  Therefore, that middle layer of the triangle is essential for the top layer of IQ to optimize its abilities.

SQ, the somatic quotient, is by far the most substantial layer of this triangle.  Soma is the Greek for the unity of body, mind, spirit, and emotion.  It is within the container of our physiology that this complexity of interface is working without ceasing, each influencing the other.     IQ is accessed through vital and healthy EQ, and optimal EQ is accessed through a potent SQ: the ability to be gently aware of and positively able to influence our thinking, feeling, and being.

To be at our best, begins in the body.  That stress response that has been attributed to emotion in EQ actually lives in our bodies – in our complete physiology.  To generate deep slow breathing shifts us out of stress response, creating a positive cascade throughout our experience. Without understanding how these four interface, we reduce our ability to access positive moods, reduce stress, access our highest thinking, and therefore live in our most brilliant place of spirit.

To be able to positively influence this interface requires the simple art of awareness and practice.  What is occurring within all of my sensations?  My thoughts? My field of emotion?  How do these collectively impact the spark of aliveness that marks the vitality of my spirit?

If we want to generate change in the larger world, our first building block is change within the individual.   Like moving an iceberg, (10% above water, 90% below), with only a small portion visible above the waterline, the place of greatest change is deep below the surface where the greatest mass lies.

Our physiology is trained through experience. To optimize SQ, which both contains and grants access to optimal EQ and IQ, we choose what to practice.  Notice what you have been practicing: whatever it is, this is what you are becoming.

Now choose: what do you want to become?  What is the larger world calling you to be?  Therefore, what do you need to practice?

I first learned this from Danaan Parry in the late 80s, at a Warriors of the Heart workshop. Well aligned with my core embodied leadership training from Strozzi Institute, I call it “step off the center line”, but Noah Rosenberg, a friend, colleague, and former ER doc from New York City, named it “don’t get the goo on you!”

In a nutshell, this practice helps us embody our internal commitment to stay centered (or settled) regardless of negative actions or communications by others. This then allows us to lead, make the most of any given situation through our cohesive presence, instead of reacting to the other person’s behavior.

Why does it matter? Thich Nhat Hanh, an extraordinary Buddhist monk and teacher from Vietnam, described this dynamic: during the era of the Vietnamese ‘boat people’ who attempted risky high seas crossings in search of safe refuge, one calm person in a boat could make all the difference in a successful outcome for the whole boat.

Calm helps us think clearly. Calm is contagious, as are other moods; anger can be contagious as well. “Don’t get the goo on you” is a practice to help you be able to choose your internal mood and maintain access to calm, regardless of the moods, or ‘the goo,’ of others. This ability is fundamental to being able to lead, vs. react.

By keeping our internal cohesion and choice intact, we are able stay more present to the other person, even while avoiding ‘catching the goo’, which then puts us in position to lead the interaction or situation to a better outcome.

To prepare:

1) Identify a place of ongoing interpersonal challenge in your life, one in which your own response may not meet your own expectations. Imagine the person, and what this person might say or do in interacting with you that contributes to the challenge.

2) If indoors, stand in an open area, with several feet of room to maneuver, squarely facing one wall. Imagine the person that you have chosen is facing you from that wall. Feel your feet on the floor beneath you, allowing your stance to widen slightly. Feel the solidness of your base, your feet, your legs, and your pelvis, then breathe deeply as you let your top half relax and settle into this foundation of support.

3) Imagine the person is walking towards you, with whatever words or behavior usually triggers a reaction in you. Breathe. Feel your solid base beneath you. Then place your right foot behind your left, so that you turn and face the wall that was on your right.

4) Notice what part of your body is now facing the first wall: just your left side. You no longer have your whole front exposed towards that incoming energy; instead you can let it go by, and witness the other person and his or her behavior.

This is the point of freedom. Instead of drawing a bulls-eye and taking the hit, or fighting back in some way, we can shift to observing the other person, staying settled within, and then choosing the best possible response to the situation.