What helps you cultivate inner calm, such that you are most able to listen to your own inner wisdom?

When we cultivate calm and access our own center, we have more ability to respond well in tough situations. We are more able to act from “right action”, vs. “reaction.” Reaction often requires damage control. If you feel like you are often cleaning up incidents, vs. responding well the first time, this may be an important place for you to look. While meditation may be the ultimate practice for accessing calm, there are many other choices.

What could you do to grow the calm quotient in your life?

Friday, I learned something completely new.  At 6,000 feet, bathed in bright sunshine and bitter cold, Gary taught us how to spin 360s on our skis. 

At first I thought he was kidding.  This was something for the instructor to show off with… not something for our mature gang of skiers to try.  

I was wrong.  “You’ve got to commit to flat skis.”  He was talking us through.

I was hesitant.  With my left hip my weakest link, I did not even want to try.

With my eyes dropped down, I gave a few half-hearted attempts, and then looked up, expecting confirmation that this would not work.  What I saw startled me: my older peers, some of them less practiced in balance and flexibility, starting to truly spin.

Hmmnm.  As a coach, I know willingness can trump ability.

This got me.  I’m not a die-hard skier, but my off-mountain fitness practices often give me an edge, especially when Gary teaches us tricks, like skiing on one ski.

So I committed.  I pictured myself spinning.  I felt a surge of playful energy course through me as I held the image.

What do you want to experience, learn, discover?

Where do you need to commit?

See yourself succeeding.  Feel the feeling success will bring.

Shifting internally from resistance to willingness, realizing I wanted that playful sensation – that look of delight on the others faces – I hunkered back into practice. 

Where is lack of willingness impeding your ability to make progress?

The secrets?  First off, flat edges.  The skis stay completely flat on the snow to allow rotation to happen. Here is the challenge: in most skiing, using ski edges pressing down is one the primary means to turn and to manage speed.   Read: control.   

This is one of those great life moments where attempting to control in traditional ways can be a barrier. To be able to pivot around, I had to be willing to let go of my urge to control the rotation by leaning onto the edges of my skis.  

Where is a desire to maintain control restricting your ability to allow something new to come to form?

Progress.  Partial turns.  Progress is good!  I was learning!  Something was still sticking though – even though I had surrendered my edges. 

 A new batch of skiers slipped by.  I looked up.  I rotated, on flat skis, while looking up, and I spun my first 360!

Balance.  Relaxation.  Alignment.  This is what shifted.  When I was hunkered down, I was trying too hard.  I had released my edges, but I had not softened into relaxation, so that my body could follow the initial rotational movement all the way to completion.  I was essentially still fighting myself.

I stopped and applied what I know.  I settled my attention and my breath into my deep center, and allowed my neck and shoulders to relax.  I opened up my vision to take in the wide angle (owl eyes.)

The next spins came with ease!  

Where might you look up, get perspective, breathe into your center, allow your shoulders to drop, and allow a new movement to come to form?

Another ah-ha.  Coaching, I know that opening up our physical stance, and relaxing those muscles we habitually hold tightly can help us breathe better, increase our oxygen supply, allow new moves.

Learning to spin on skis was no different.  Creating a relaxed centered presence on my skis, the spirals came with ease. 

 What do you most want to learn?

Three Simple Steps to Access Our Own Wisdom

For the big questions, the ones that help set the course of our lives, or significantly impact our work or our leadership, access to more than intellectual thought can pay off.   There is a wisdom that lives in our bodies.  Some call it intuition, or may speak of doing a gut check, or having a gut feeling about something.   How though, in the midst of a busy day, do we access this?

Here’s a simple formula to have your inner navigation system working for you:

·      Ask good questions.

·      Settle into your center.  (Sometimes easier said than done… how-to is below!)

·      Listen from an open stance.

·      (Ok. there is a secret fourth step.  Practice steps 1-3 often, and you’ll get really good at accessing your own wisdom!)

1) Start with asking good questions:

Example: What is the core challenge I am facing?   What is the opportunity inherent in this challenge? 

The questions we ask ourselves determine the direction and shape of our attention. Quality answers emerge from excellent questions, so choose them well!   Whatever your challenge, if you’ve been framing it as a problem, try these questions that focus on challenge and opportunity instead.  Same content, different way of looking.   What do you notice?

2) Next, learn to settle into center.

We are most effective when we are relaxed and alert – not tense and alert.   Tension is like grime on a window or static on a phone line: it infers with clear seeing, clear hearing, and clear understanding.

Centering involves both a physical relaxation and a mental clarity of focusing on what matters most.  By beginning with the body, our minds can follow, and clarity can emerge.  We always have an ally here, in the regular rhythm of our breath. Let your attention settle deep into your belly, and allow your breath follow.  Soften your shoulders, let your jaw relax, feel your feet, way down there, closer to the earth.

******Feel your breath.

Through as many breaths as it takes to soften and release the tension holding you, feel the fullness of breath in your belly.  Let each breath coax a bit more space through your sides and your back.  Feel your mid back expanding.  Feel your sides open.  Feel the weight of your body settling you into the support of the earth below.  (Even many floors up, gravity still works, and the earth is still beneath us- you may just need to use your imagination a bit more!)

If you are bottled-up-tight tense, you may need to prime the pump by doing several complete exhales.  Ironically, since nature abhors a vacuum, the best way to get a full, deep breath is to fully empty the lungs.  So do this with vigor, as if you were blowing out the candles on a cake, and there really is one for every year!   With each deep exhale, let your shoulders drop another notch, your jaw soften, and then inhale fully, deeply.  Placing your palms on your abdomen just below your navel can help you direct your attention, and therefore your breath, even lower.

******Now keep your attention in your center.

Once you bring your breath and your attention to your center, you can un-kink the hose of your whole energetic system, and allow the life force to connect you to what you cannot see, but that is always there, always supporting us, always available.  Like the sun not yet seen in the early dawn, that life force is with us, not visible, but present.  When we settle into our breathing, we can learn to feel this support and allow our bodies to open into an alert yet relaxed state. 

This process of centering takes practice. As with all things, practice is the key ingredient to success.  You will get better with time – and practice!

3) Listen from an open stance.   

What is your challenge today?  What is your opportunity?  When we listen in our center, we often find more wisdom, and more comprehensive answers.  It’s as if we can see through a wide-angle lens, and not just through a telephoto lens.  More possibilities show up.   Let yourself get curious, and go exploring.  When we narrow down too soon, and latch on too quickly to particular approach, we sometimes squeeze out real possibilities.

When you listen from your center, what do you notice?

Now let yourself begin.  And keep practicing!