“Each morning we are born again. 
What we do today is what matters most.” – Buddha

Ever wake up in the morning, realizing the way you saw the world last night was just one way, one possibility, vs. the certain truth? That today can be a day of discovery, of new life, and possibility?  Have you ever realized you have seen another through your own fear instead of staying open, curious and welcoming to who they really are?

For, again in the words of Buddha,  “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”

As always, today is a new day.  On this particular today, delayed in Denver’s sun-filled airport, I’m taking time out to ask: what stories am I generating about the people around me, and the world around me? What barriers am I constructing that I can tear down so that I can experience life anew?  It’s a bit of a humbling inventory….

How do I know? 

I am a consummate journaler. I journal so I can watch myself. What are my thoughts and emotions? Which ones are accurate?  Which are not? Often, when I am writing, I fall in the trap many of us do: assuming my thoughts are true!

Here is one of the gifts of journaling: this morning, reading back into last night, I can see one thought – one fear-generated balloon that passed through my mind – which I snatched out of thin air and asserted as truth.   This morning, with the rearview mirror a journal provides, I can see that this thought is really only one possibility.

I won’t share the mud of the thought – containing our own mud is one thing a  journal is for – but this process served as a great reminder…. don’t believe everything you think!

“Keep yourself clean and bright.  For you are the window through which you see the world.”   George Bernard Shaw

What could you do to better notice what’s on your window?  

What will help you keep yourself “clean and bright?”

Learning is one of the most powerful tools we can bring to any challenge. It is a direct off-ramp from blame, or shame, and a direct on-ramp to being able to proactively shape the future.

Where in your world might you benefit from shifting from blaming, or searching for blame, to learning?

Identify an issue, arena, or relationship that you are struggling with, and ask yourself: 

What do I notice about this situation? What am I learning? What might I do differently?

Where are you called on your journey?

I journeyed this weekend on a brief but deep women’s weekend retreat in the remote pine wood hills of eastern WA.    It was a worthy adventure.  

Where are you called to journey?  Cultivating leadership involves continuous cultivation of personal learning.   As leaders, many of us only lead well to the edge of our own comfort zone, so continuously stretching that zone increases the range of territory in which we can truly lead.

Over the weekend, we were immersed in creativity, myth, and metaphor, and far removed from computer connections.  Coyotes sang at night, wild turkeys grumbled to each other during the day, and the rain fell.

I was most grateful for the opportunity to paint in the warmth and glow of a wood-heated studio, my process witnessed by gifted facilitators and dear friends.  I was able to face the large, open canvas and let my life speak.  What do I love? 

Not holding any image or expectation, I simply listened. Which size brush?  Which color? Which shape?  

Gradually, I found myself reliving the last year of my inner journey – in color and emotion, unfolding under my hand and before my eyes.  At one point, surrendering to longing, I abandoned the brush, dipping my fingers into reds and yellows and allowed life force to flow through.  Layers of paint revealed greater complexity and nuance, and an emerging, maturing sense of grace.

When I was done, there was more of me.  Finally, growing up.

The reading, below, weaves into this story.  Welcomed into the retreat space with these words, I knew immediately that I wanted to share them.  However, there is a twist.    

Embarking on a year of reclaiming and growing into my own fullness, vs. searching for fulfillment in relation with another, and having recently finished the above painting of my own fullness, I initially mis-read one line.  “May the one you long for long for you”  I entered, as I typed before bed, as  “may the one you long for be you.”  Few letters, big meaning.

Hmmm.  I fell asleep in front of the fire, contemplating the possibility that perhaps life is best in when both are true.

This morning, I woke in the rain and slipped my way back down the hill to the painting studio.  I painted another painting. Or, perhaps more accurately, another painting painted me.  This is its own story.  To suffice for now though, what amazed me most, was to see, side by side, these two paintings, each representing a different read of that one line, and how potent the combination. Each, unique, complete, settled,  and whole.  And both, together, somehow more than the sum of the parts.

Where are you called on your journey?  

What will help you emerge into your own wholeness?

Where do you need to listen?

Turn up your inner radar, and read on….. (and revisit.. I’ll figure out how to post those paintings…!)

For Longing

Blessed be the longing that brought you here

And quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease.

To discover the new direction your longing wants to take.

May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –

Be equal to the grandeur and call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide your thoughts and nurture your feelings.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

By John O’Donaghue

What are the seeds of your longing?

What is longing for you?

“Observe, Notice, Course Correct”

“We are what we repeatedly do.”  Aristotle

What will help you be your own best ally?  The more you can coach yourself towards a vibrant spirit and healthy leadership, the more effective and satisfied you will be.  What will help you live “observe, notice, course correct”, with clarity and compassion?

Have clarifying coaching sessions with yourself.  Stop the action.  Step back.  Gently and clearly reflect on your thoughts, emotions, choices, and actions.  At its core, the compassionate observer pays attention.

·      What are you noticing?

·      What are you learning? 

·      What matters most?  

·      How can you best support your own success? 

Do this in a consistent time frame each day.   It is easier to form a new habit this way. By strengthening this muscle on a regular basis, the more available it will be in the heat of the moment, which is when we need it most! 

Most of my clients do this at the end of the workday, tied in with a reflective practice that helps them clarify their planning for the next day. Some people are best at this in the morning though, and some end their day this way.  You get to experiment: what works best for you?  Observe… Notice… Course Correct….  

Remember the tone and feel that you bring to this is as important as the questions you ask.  Let yourself  be curious, caring, and clear.

Start with observing.  You can use the video camera image, from the first part of this series, or you can guide your mind in the following ways, both of which can help you get ‘you’ out of the way:

Think about one of the most supportive, compassionate people you know, and see yourself through their eyes.    What do they see?  Where would they encourage you to focus?  (This is not about them; this is about you using your sense of them to help you see yourself through new eyes.)

Imagine that you are actually observing someone else, even though its really you that you are watching.  Then ask yourself, if I were coaching or mentoring someone else in this situation, where would I encourage them to look?

Journaling.  A daily writing practice can help us step back from the action enough to stop and observe ourselves. 

Finally, something that has been working for millennia… meditation.  This is the ultimate daily laboratory for learning to be a compassionate observer of your own mind.  By learning to still the body, center into breath, and calm the mind, we create room for the observer to take root.  But that’s a whole new post….. !

However you proceed, growing your inner coach will help you 

“Use your life to wake you up.”

– Pema Chodron             

And remember…..

Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

– Albert Einstein