“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.”   Edith Wharton

Last night, in the small hours, I woke to see our lake listening to the near-full moon, mirroring back a magnificent swath of light.   This was a time-stands-still moment, a be-still-and-pay-attention kind of moment.

It is easy for us to automatically equate action, and speech, with value and worth, and inaction and quiet with lack of value.  Yet, without stillness, there is no center point to find and return home to; there is no clarity about what matters most, there is no ability to fully open to what is around us.  Ultimately, there is no ability to deeply listen to others, or ourselves.

What is the gift we give when we listen with our full presence?

Magnification.  While the moon itself last night was lovely, the lake’s rendition of moonlight was magic.  Under gentle night breeze, this swath of light, a blend of the best moon and lake had to offer, pulsated with aliveness. 

If this is difficult to imagine translating to the human world, think of someone dear to you. Witness the way full presence, and deep listening, bring out their best qualities.  In comparison, notice the way distracted attention brings out something very different.  (The same is true with our own work; experiment with listening deeply into the question of what matters most today…. and notice what emerges!)

We all have this same nature underneath, and the ability to both offer and be touched by full presence.   This is a gift we can give and receive.  

What is the value that deep listening brings?

At our core, we are built for connection.  From an evolutionary standpoint, we are made to thrive with others, not alone.   Being able to be deeply present, and listen with full attention, is one of our fundamental ways of contributing to thriving connection, benefiting self and other. 

How do we cultivate the ability to listen so fully that we can help others bring out the best in themselves?

We always have two places to look to cultivate abilities: our stories (the meaning we create and the value we give), and practice.    In this case, these weave together beautifully.  Most of us are hungry for deep connection, such that attentive practice will reveal its own value.

Practice first cultivating your own stillness.  

This is the connection between the quality of presence and deep listening, for we cannot be thinking (listening to ourselves) and listening to another as the same time.

What will help you cultivate inner stillness?  Meditation?  Time in nature?  Centered breathing?

Then practice something foreign to many of us: when you listen, do nothing else. Simply bring your full attention to the one you are listening to.   Let yourself be the lake, with no other task, than mirroring the moon.

You can practice this with music, in nature, with animals… with any experience in which you commit to bringing your undivided wholeness.

You may be swimming upstream when you do….

This is the absolute opposite of multi-tasking….

And the gifts you cultivate, both for yourself and for others, will magnify over time.   

So practice.  And notice…

Where are you called to listen fully in your life?